Чем больше я изучать, тем я меньше много
I hate my organism often. Autopsists say that the body is a masterpiece. It is like a song. But unfortunately my body is like a pop-song - the music is OK, but there is no sense in the lyrics.

It malfunctions all the time. I'm just 19 and I already have loads of chronical diseases. All the time something bad happens. Now...Now again. And I can not do anything to make it stop, It seems like the world sometimes tempts to recover the balance of the justice by killing the weakest ones, and sometimes I become the target, but I fight hard and Fate lets me live for a while without shit like that. But then everything repeats. Again and again and again.

I hate it. I hate seeing the way many other people live, without even thinking about the state of their health. And I...Why is it me who has to be worried about what's going on with my fucking health? What have I done wrong? I almost never drink the alcohol, I don't smoke, I'm not a douche. I study, I sleep well, I never cheat on my beloved one, I don't do anything phrysically hard, but I still have all these issues with my health.

I'm so tired of that. I can't even imagine how much money my family could have saved, if it hadn't been spent on all those medicines, analyses etc.

I don't want it all again, but the life leaves me no other choice. Fuck everything. Hey, doctor, I haven't seen you for ages.